Help me out here.

[mothwing]

"I don't hate people with vaginas, I don't think that possession of a vagina is inextricably linked to any particular trait or that people with vaginas are somehow inferior to people with penises, or any of that nonsense. But when it comes to sitting directly next to a vagina itself for about twelve hours? No way. I really, really don't like them - the shape, the smell, the actions performed...and I don't see what's wrong with saying that. If someone were to say that they hate penises - and I know many women, gay and straight, who have - that would hardly be something unbelievable. The US as a whole is incredibly squeamish about asses, something I certainly like in a sexual context, and it's fairly common to hear people talk about 100% hating anal sex. Why is it that the vagina is the one part that no one's meant to hate, even if they don't fancy girls?"

Am I the only one who thinks that this is ...problematic?

fabfemmeboy said this in a post on RPatts quote on how he "really hates vaginas" and how that meant that he was totes gay (rather than, you know, an idiot).

Many applaud this sentence as funny and think that this is only a harmless, if hyperbolic statement of his discomfort - like "I hatre cucumber" (and really? My reason for being uncomfortable during that particular photoshoot really would not have been the nekkid people around me - there were much better reasons for that).

To me, this seems to disregard several facts completely, such as the broader context of how society sees vaginas (as I pointed out, this is made most apparent to me in the different use and implications of derogatory terms for both penes and vaginas), how this isn't just a harmless ~preference~ and how sexual orientation is really not defined by your relationship with a set of genitalia.

Right?

Comments

[holyschist.livejournal.com]

I kind of feel like it's not necessary to loudly share that feeling of vagina/vulva-hate--the broader context of society's attitudes does not need reinforcement (there are plenty of straight men going on publicly about gross female genitalia are--just not too gross to fuck--for one thing!).

Also, "hate" seems like an awfully strong term to use for the body part everyone not born by C-section emerged into the world through.

how sexual orientation is really not defined by your relationship with a set of genitalia.

Given how often this comes up in discussions of transphobia, though, a lot of people (it looks like usually cis men to me, but I'm not sure) do seem to define their sexual orientation by genitalia. So then it's a question of what that says about a person.

[mothwing.livejournal.com]

the broader context of society's attitudes does not need reinforcement
That's what I thought, but apparently, people don't know that there is an attitude towards vulvae/vaginae.

As for limiting a sexual orientation to genitalia and generally pinning gender on genitalia - it's true, I do see that happen, but to mix and jumble up genitalia, gender, and sexual orientation like this still doesn't make sense to me - especially when bringing sexual practices into it.

[holyschist.livejournal.com]

Well, and limiting a conversation like that is...not without problems. Yeah, blech.

[fourthage.livejournal.com]

Okay, I've read the quoted passage three times and it still doesn't make any sense to me. I do find it creepy the way he's disassociating the body part from the person as a whole (how the hell do you sit next to any body part for twelve hours?). Also, not liking a specific sexual act does not map to not liking a body part.

[mothwing.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I wondered what was up with those two things - especially how not liking a specific sex act compares to bodypart-hatred. It just doesn't make any sense.

[bronnyelsp.livejournal.com]

You're right as usual Mothy, but I suspect they're just going to refuse to get it. LOVE the bit where zie accused you of heterocentrism. Someone needs to teach hir about not doing the ASS-U-ME thing.