mothwing: "I can't be having with this" next to the grim looking face of Granny Weatherwax (Granny)
Mothwing ([personal profile] mothwing) wrote2011-09-20 08:48 pm

The Secret Life of the American Teenager

Lessons learned from the show:
1. If you have unprotected sex, you WILL get pregnant.
2. If you have protected sex, you WILL get pregnant.
3. If you use condoms, they WILL break.
4. If you are on the pill AND use a condom AND have lots of sex, you WILL get pregnant.
5. Girls don't know what masturbation is until they're fifteen.
6. Having an abortion at fifteen is a HORRIBLE HORRIBLE THING.
7. Having a baby at fifteen will make you SO HAPPY. 
8. Being a teenage mother will totally unite your fighting parents AND attract lots of cute guys! 
9. Women belong into the kitchen because they're just GOOD at it.
10. Having a baby at fifteen means your friends will be dying to spend more time with you.   
11. Divorce is WRONG and you WILL get back together. And the best thing about this: you'll have another child! 
12. You cannot keep a secret in High School, EVERYBODY KNOWS EVERYTHING.
13. Teenage dudes will fight tooth and nail to keep their children and get custody, so don't worry, you won't end up raising the kid alone. 
14. It is less likely for people to have a baby if they are married adults taking the same steps to avoid pregancy as teenagers. 
15. If you sleep around a lot before you have a child, your child will be a stillborn preemie. 

Who is funding this show?

I suppose it's good that there is a show that focuses on how having a baby at fifteen is NOT the end of the world and that there are teenage boys who really enjoy fatherhood, but seriously? Having an abortion at fifteen is fine, too, if you don't feel you can handle the responsibility of raising a child just yet and want to focus on, you know, not being a child yourself. 

In the real worlds, babies are not magical plot devices who can fix everything that's wrong in your life story. 

[identity profile] cranky--crocus.livejournal.com 2011-09-21 10:52 pm (UTC)(link)
The only one I find to be true is 12. But that may also be because I went to a high school of probably 600, staff and animals included.
ext_112554: Picture of a death's-head hawkmoth (Granny)

[identity profile] mothwing.livejournal.com 2011-09-24 10:16 am (UTC)(link)
12 MAY be true, but I doubt that if my "best friends" were two people who told EVERYTHING I told them in strictest confidence to everybody they ever met, we'd soon cease to be friends at all. Not so the heroine of this show, she's all wide-eyed and wondering, "However did you find out about THAT?? NO ONE KNEW!!!".