Exhausting
Saturday, November 17th, 2007 06:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mothwingAnd in more than one sense, but most of all emotionally. I know that Hamburg is a city in which a lot of children live in broken homes or come from incredibly poor and difficult backgrounds.
I feel so silly. I knew these things were going on, but hearing people talk about them who had witnessed them made them more real, and more horrible.
Somehow, I am at the same time both sad and glad that I did not take part in such a more "difficult" trip instead of the six comparatively easy weeks at the kindergarten. I would have wanted to do something to make them - all of them - feel better - but I would have never been able to, and that, and the terrible burden of knowing that there are children who are raised in such horrible conditions, would have just about killed me. This seminar really makes me want to find a way to reach out to children living in such difficult conditions and help them, one at a time, so that I can help without breaking.
My wee students I thought were not an example of this. Thursday brought a lesson that was really, really good. All of the students spent a lot of time altering their portrait photos they had made the week before, with an amazing sense of what was a good picture and what was not. Three of my students were missing, and when I asked where they were, my students had horrible things to say.
One girl was at home because her baby sister had died. She was only one year old, and one student said that her stepfather had allegedly suffocated her. I really hope that is gossip rather than the truth, hearing that was really a shock, I can't imagine how she must feel now.
A boy was unable to come because he'd been attacked and had to go home with a bleeding leg. Someone mentioned a knife, but was quickly hushed by a friend who said that that was gossip. The attacked and injured part remains, however. I really hope it's nothing too bad, and I'll try to catch his teacher next week to find out what happened.
I found a really trusted assistant in Arian, a boy who usually is more concerned about impressing his classmates. Employing him as an assistant turned him into a really helpful helper who was quick with helping others with the programme we are working with, and also demonstrated things we were doing frequently, which seemed to be helpful for the others. I hope he'll be as willing to be an example for the others next week when his friend is back and he's more concerned with impressing him again. I have been thinking of asking Aminata to be my assistant next week, too. She is a girl who's a year younger than the rest, but she's really good, although she's slowed down by the fact that she keeps helping her slower partner, who frequently will ask her to do things for her rather than doing it herself.
One girl was at home because her baby sister had died. She was only one year old, and one student said that her stepfather had allegedly suffocated her. I really hope that is gossip rather than the truth, hearing that was really a shock, I can't imagine how she must feel now.
A boy was unable to come because he'd been attacked and had to go home with a bleeding leg. Someone mentioned a knife, but was quickly hushed by a friend who said that that was gossip. The attacked and injured part remains, however. I really hope it's nothing too bad, and I'll try to catch his teacher next week to find out what happened.
I found a really trusted assistant in Arian, a boy who usually is more concerned about impressing his classmates. Employing him as an assistant turned him into a really helpful helper who was quick with helping others with the programme we are working with, and also demonstrated things we were doing frequently, which seemed to be helpful for the others. I hope he'll be as willing to be an example for the others next week when his friend is back and he's more concerned with impressing him again. I have been thinking of asking Aminata to be my assistant next week, too. She is a girl who's a year younger than the rest, but she's really good, although she's slowed down by the fact that she keeps helping her slower partner, who frequently will ask her to do things for her rather than doing it herself.
The seminar I attended today was horribly exhausting, and not because it was boring as I had anticipated, but because of the truly horrifying stories some of the participants had to share. It is horrifying to hear in what conditions some children have to grow up. Especially one group task we were given, "Discuss situations in which you met your limits, in which you felt helples" showed that.
We talked about my child who does not say a word in my group, and another small-group member told us about the day someone called a student on his student trip to tell them that her boyfriend had committed suicide.
Someone from the rest of the seminar told us from his work with highly aggressive students who do not know any concept of friendly, non-threatening behaviour - at the age of seven.
Someone told us about a boy who would punch everyone who tried to touch him and showed aggressive behaviour to anyone who would come closer to him than a meter, who was ten, and who took three weeks to let anyone talk to him.
There were several people there who had to deal with children they just could not reach at all, there seemed to be no ways of reaching them, neither for the trained people looking after them, nor for peers, nor for their parents or our students.
Especially someone who worked for an organisation that organises day trips for children from difficult backgrounds told horrible stories about children as young as eight years old who just could not be reached by any of the people there and who were violent, who would even attack strangers on a train.
Someone told us about a highly intelligent boy who was made fun of and ostracised by everyone because he used a semi-made up language that consisted of lots of oblique terms no one understood.
Someone about a boy who kept soiling himself for unknown reasons and tried his best to conceal the fact, which embarrassed him - as he was fourteen.
Someone about a boy on the same trip who kept attacking the people organising the trip whenever he felt threatened by things not going his way and who smashed a window and threw chairs at the organisers.
Someone who had organised a trip for children from "difficult" background about children who were unable to take care of their hygiene at all, children who started the trip beaten black and blue.
There were enough horrible stories to overwhelm me completely and have my privileged suburban heart bleed with compassion.
We talked about my child who does not say a word in my group, and another small-group member told us about the day someone called a student on his student trip to tell them that her boyfriend had committed suicide.
Someone from the rest of the seminar told us from his work with highly aggressive students who do not know any concept of friendly, non-threatening behaviour - at the age of seven.
Someone told us about a boy who would punch everyone who tried to touch him and showed aggressive behaviour to anyone who would come closer to him than a meter, who was ten, and who took three weeks to let anyone talk to him.
There were several people there who had to deal with children they just could not reach at all, there seemed to be no ways of reaching them, neither for the trained people looking after them, nor for peers, nor for their parents or our students.
Especially someone who worked for an organisation that organises day trips for children from difficult backgrounds told horrible stories about children as young as eight years old who just could not be reached by any of the people there and who were violent, who would even attack strangers on a train.
Someone told us about a highly intelligent boy who was made fun of and ostracised by everyone because he used a semi-made up language that consisted of lots of oblique terms no one understood.
Someone about a boy who kept soiling himself for unknown reasons and tried his best to conceal the fact, which embarrassed him - as he was fourteen.
Someone about a boy on the same trip who kept attacking the people organising the trip whenever he felt threatened by things not going his way and who smashed a window and threw chairs at the organisers.
Someone who had organised a trip for children from "difficult" background about children who were unable to take care of their hygiene at all, children who started the trip beaten black and blue.
There were enough horrible stories to overwhelm me completely and have my privileged suburban heart bleed with compassion.
I feel so silly. I knew these things were going on, but hearing people talk about them who had witnessed them made them more real, and more horrible.
Somehow, I am at the same time both sad and glad that I did not take part in such a more "difficult" trip instead of the six comparatively easy weeks at the kindergarten. I would have wanted to do something to make them - all of them - feel better - but I would have never been able to, and that, and the terrible burden of knowing that there are children who are raised in such horrible conditions, would have just about killed me. This seminar really makes me want to find a way to reach out to children living in such difficult conditions and help them, one at a time, so that I can help without breaking.
