Somehow It's Thursday
Thursday, August 17th, 2006 01:44 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mothwingMy days begin at noon and end in the early hours of the morning, I sleepwalk through the rest and try to get things done but can't because my thoughts are elsewhere, I try to organise my life, my future, my uni stuff, my thoughts and feelings, but it does not work because I cannot concentrate and all the while, I try to spend time with Crocky, but somehow, so many things get in the way that a quiet evening at home, a quiet evening, just the two of us, is out of question. We have the nights, in which I am sleepless and looking at the wall, listening to her quiet breathing.
So - definitely not downtime. And I need downtime. The time does not seem to pass at all in this basement, which is a capsule in which time is just stopped, but outside, it is speeding away, and there do not seem to be days, because it is always dark down here. I try to get in touch with my friends, but I do not manage that, because stupid things happen and then, suddenly, it is two am and nothing I tried to get done was done. I love my wonderful friends who put up with this, with constant absences and excuses and postponements of postponements.
Were the past ten month really real or if it was just a dream from which I was forced to wake up, finding myself sleepwalking through this strange reality. Where did the time go? Did I really walk through the streets on my photos? Can things which are not real end up in your camera? It does that, sometimes. And where do the days go? They fill themselves, and suddenly, as now, it is seven minutes to two. Stop the clocks.
Done. I stopped it.
My father's lab in the basement.
I love him.
Back to ... I don't know, but it will surely find me.
So - definitely not downtime. And I need downtime. The time does not seem to pass at all in this basement, which is a capsule in which time is just stopped, but outside, it is speeding away, and there do not seem to be days, because it is always dark down here. I try to get in touch with my friends, but I do not manage that, because stupid things happen and then, suddenly, it is two am and nothing I tried to get done was done. I love my wonderful friends who put up with this, with constant absences and excuses and postponements of postponements.
Were the past ten month really real or if it was just a dream from which I was forced to wake up, finding myself sleepwalking through this strange reality. Where did the time go? Did I really walk through the streets on my photos? Can things which are not real end up in your camera? It does that, sometimes. And where do the days go? They fill themselves, and suddenly, as now, it is seven minutes to two. Stop the clocks.
Done. I stopped it.
My father's lab in the basement.
I love him.
Back to ... I don't know, but it will surely find me.
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no subject
Date: Thursday, August 17th, 2006 07:34 pm (UTC)Hun, you're in a funk. Be good to yourself. Think of one thing, one spontaneous, non-nocturnal-hiding-indoors thing, that would make you happy... and do it. OK? Promise?
no subject
Date: Friday, August 18th, 2006 01:38 am (UTC)I can at least promise that I will try. :)