mothwing | Peptides and Partners

Ooh, I am so tired... I have just come back from seeing Crocky off. Her seminar starts at ten, so does mine, so the tantalizing possibility exists to take the direct train to Hanover at seven. We have never been mad or desperate enough for the few hours of extra time to risk it, but since we are not going to see each other again until after Christmas if there is not some miracle that permits me to see her in spite of the workload and my father occupying our basement, it had to be done this time, so we quietly sneaked out of the house at six. Hamburg is strangely empty at this time, even at the central station only very few people were around, which was nice. It was horrible to see Crocky go, though. I know that I do repeat myself and keep moping about that every week, but sometimes it does make me wonder about the future. Every time she leaves, she takes a part of me with her - what will there be left in a few year's time?

jaywalker23's birthday on Friday was great, and it was fun to meet some of her friends and seeing old school mates again. I am very exited about the fact that Crocky likes my friends, I had hoped she would. Well, I should not have worried, of course - Genghis is a great person and I don't think there's anyone who would not like her. I had virtually no time at all to choose a present, so it turned out not to be what I had had in mind and really poorly wrapped, it was really a shame - but she was very nice about it. Ooh, I hope she likes it!

I spent most of Saturday afternoon translating a text for my father. Well, proofing, really, although I was originally going to translate it... Chemistry texts... I did not even understand the German text, what with all the details on processes of validation, the purity evaluation of the decapeptide and technical details, so how was I supposed to translate it? The chemistry dictionary is not here, there was no way to translate any of the technical terms. We solved it by my father writing a sketchy translation of the technical terms in easy sentences and me correcting and rewriting the English sentences. Sounds easy, but even with the technical terms it took hours. I don't think I have ever spent so much time on any two pages of writing. It was fun, though, in a sense.

And now I have to leave the basement once more, taking with me everything that reminds me of another great weekend that was far too short.
I hope this week will be better than last week, there were times when I felt like just walking out of this university, this course, this city, this life, without ever turning back and just seeing where I end up - suddenly, especially in the middle of Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, everything was better than the thought of having to stand this situation, all of it, much longer. I don't know what it is that gets to me so much, but I hope it stops soon. I don't want to have to fear that soon I won't be able to get up in the mornings anymore, that I become snappy, that I hurt people I like. It's a weird sensation, but it seems as though all those small moments of happiness are just not enough in the long run, there is just too much undifferentiated sadness, and those moments are becoming islands that are farther and farther apart. I daresay it is, as always, just a matter of attitude and your point of view, but my point of view is a what's the point-view at the moment. I hope it'll go away again.

Well, it's Monday, it's early, the week's ahead of me, let's get busy.